private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
