You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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