I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
