I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize