Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The feeling are messing with the penis
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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