So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
