I want you more than these girls want KFC
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize