Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
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