I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
