She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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