Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
