At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
