Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Randomize
