Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize