We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
