I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
