haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
