I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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