awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
