If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Panties = found
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
