You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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