I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
