I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Just pee around me
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
