I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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