So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
The adults are the big ones right?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize