8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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