Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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