i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
