She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
