Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
My vagina just clenched in fear
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
