chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize