I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
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