I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
You work out of a Hotel?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
