Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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