We're like a lot better than the average bears
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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