i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
