the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
