Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
