just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I enjoy the company of your penis
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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