He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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