the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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