i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
