I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
