i already hear my dad disowning me
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
