She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
