pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
