so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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