yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize