god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
