"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
