Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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