I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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