Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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