Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
We smell like vodka and hangover
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