awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
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