Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
