Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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