how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
