Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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