508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
God, I missed his penis.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
