i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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