Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Do vagina's smell?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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